May. 4th, 2015

ataori: (jongin:)
 Here is the reality of the situation;

The truth is that there are places that you cannot be sometimes, because you are miles away trying to turn dreams into goals.

The truth is that there are people who will not cooperate, but always know that they are doing so not willingly, but because sometimes, time does not cooperate, and over being upset, you must be patient, and understanding, and kind, and willing to learn. You must support them-- for inner monsters they have fought and some battles may not have been won.

The truth is that there are people who do things that you do not understand, and may never understand. Realize that these people are their own people, and they work in their own ways, and have gotten along up until now, so what says that you cannot either?

The truth is that everybody goes through bouts of pain-- but these memories, though they will always linger, will always be a backdrop against which beautiful memories tend to shine. You will pull through. You always do. So does everyone else. 

We always do.

The truth is that you will doubt yourself-- and look at you, you are doing it right now, you do not believe that what someone has told you was true, that it came from his heart, but what you must do is believe in him. Trust his words, for he is someone you admire, and respect, and want to understand, and to do so, you must learn to trust, and in turn trust yourself. You are good. You were never ba. You are always trying... so keep doing it.

For our sake. For their sake, back home. For his sake, for her sake, for the sake of everyone around you. For those who call you a friend-- for those whom you call a friend, too. But most of all...

Please, do it for me.

Do it for you.

ataori: (Default)
 I breathe easiest when enclosed with steam.

(It's much easier to think in the shower)
ataori: (uuyu:)

(Wow, way to be up front!)

I was told once by a friend that, if you ever need to take the time to be by yourself, or to think a little, or maybe to breathe (and not like the everyday breathe, but actually breathe), then you should bring yourself to a cafe and sit there, without anything, no technology, no people. just yourself. And i'm not too far from my familiar place, nor am I without technology (here I sit, on my laptop, with my headphones on, listening to Clara C sing me into the stars and what lies beyond this universe). 

It's amazing how many familiar faces you can come across when standing still. Despite being in such a big city-- surely one that is bigger that me myself-- I still come across those who I have formed connections with in one way or another. I watch as families interact, I watch as people drag their heels across across the glistening asphalt (what are they thinking, I wonder? What inner struggles are they fighting today? Perhaps today is different... perhaps it is a better day than others). 

But of course, not everything is perfect. Just earlier today, I saw a rugged old lady shouting at a helpless clerk for the way her bread was being cut-- what a menial little thing to be cross at! I am learning more and more about life and other people every day. America is very, very different from back home...

Speaking of, I'll be back in a little while. Huh. So many things to do before then, though. I will be patient.

I don't know how mother is doing in the hospital today. Hopefully she is doing much, much better... I miss her. 

This cafe is really everything I've wanted in a long, long time. I must come here again, to be alone, to spend time with strangers. 

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