シャワーをあびる

Hello! It's been awhile. I haven't been writing-- maybe because I haven't had anything to write about, but I just thought that tonight, even if it's a short piece, I would like to try again, and see if something good comes out of it.

It's so wonderful when you see two people in love; when you see two people falling into it, when you see two people basking in its goodness, Even parting is beautiful, the bittersweet kind. I would like to know it, to finally understand. There is a boy, whose heart doesn't make me do flips, but he makes my knees weak, and turns the word "nervous" into "tired", and has a thousand-watt smile, and the kindest demeanor. He's so good. I wonder if he would ever be willing to be good to me. I know that I'd give him what I could, cherish him as much as I trusted myself to, explore the world, ourselves, learn more about me, as a person, as someone who can finally be proud of who I am.

I've changed a lot since this year began. I'm learning to love myself; I've been taking baby steps, but they've definitely gotten me somewhere, and I'm so thankful for it. It feels so good to be able to say, "there's no one I'd rather be, than me" alongside the villains in Wreck it Ralph. And as I embrace myself, I also long for the embrace of another, though not to the extent that it is dramatic. 

For the first time, though, I'd like to try. I want something, anything to happen, and if not, there is another lesson learned! Sometimes it has to be done the hard way... but at least, it is 'done'.